I just got a response from my friend Rachel to my first blog and she made a good point. One thing I think I expected was in a way for my friend's mom to "snap out of it". No a snap out of it like get over it, but I guess to not remember his life only in saddness, but remember his life for all the good that was accomplished. Sometimes I guess people do their loved ones that they have lost a disservice. I don't at all want to sound mean or judgmental, but I think what I mean is honor his life in all the positive ways, although this never takes away the pain, honor his life and what his wishes would have been, for you to never forget, but to not be paralyzed in grief. I'm not sure I'm getting across what I mean, but all I know is I cannot expect a mother to ever forget the pain or the loss of a child. There is such an unimaginable bond between mother and child no matter what the age is. With Samuel he is part of my soul in a way.. he is so part of me. I would do ANYTHING for him. You hear every mother say that but it is so true. You just feel like, if you could take a beating just to take any pain away from your child you would. It's so powerful to be a mother and such a privelege. I often think of the story of the mother in the Bible who had her son and he was almost cut in half by the king because another woman was saying he was hers. I can understand that mother. She would rather have given him up than seen him killed. It's so powerful. That is the only way I can put it. Just powerful and special. That is where I cannot imagine that bond being broken. The feeling of such incredible loss seems too big to imagine. But that is where God comes in. I know that he is bigger than all things that go on in our lives. He has been so faithful to Susie and Matt. That is the only way I can fathom how anyone can go through this and come out the other side. God is awesome... So thank you Rachel for that insight. Oh ya and by the way on a much lighter note, we're going to Bermuda on a cruise for 7 nights, 8 days...