tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50413162072739840042024-03-05T05:54:33.839-08:00Journey to VictoryDanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.comBlogger191125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-42866966322710652192010-07-06T08:42:00.000-07:002010-07-06T08:50:34.803-07:00These kids!Ok. So I'm hitting a phase that is totally scary with Samuel. I know the right answer, don't be afraid , just pray..I know I know.. But Samuel is now in this phase where he is around other kids and is picking up QUITE the little attitude. Just as an example. The other day, Samuel was outside with two of the neighborhood friends (not crazy about them), and Josh told Samuel to come over to him and what was Samuel's response? "Daddy, be quiet". WHOA.. BACK THAT TRAIN UP. I happened to walk right into the backyard as Samuel said it and I nearly flipped out of my skin. My response as Josh sat there staring in SHOCK that Samuel just said that? "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO YOUR DADDY LIKE THAT. GET IN THE HOUSE NOW." HAHA... Josh stood there motionless for a good few seconds. And the funny part? Samuel right after he said it looked like he had seen a ghost. He knew right away that was the wrong move. Well, after taking care of the problem and having him apologize to daddy and not being allowed outside anymore, Josh and I sat down in a near panic mode. Um. How do we deal with this? Do we let him play with these kids? Is he too much of a follower? AHH AHH?<br /><br />I do realize that it is with the same kid he plays with that he gets mean. So I guess the logical solution is to not let him play with this kid. Which we are doing. But then we started to feel bad becasue we are friendly with the parents and they are the nicest people ever. Then came up the discussion. Are we willing to possibly offend those parents in order to stop our kid from hanging out with their kid? Or, do we continue to instill in Samuel that being mean is not nice, no matter what anyone else is doing, you be kind? Not quite sure yet. But I did find it funny when Josh sat down and said "Danielle we need to pray. Like now." The panic in his voice made me laugh. Then it dawned on me...If we are panicing over Samuel saying to someone "I don't like you", then what are the teenage years going to be like? Oh goodness. We can't turn around now right? Too late. We are parents. Ah.<br /><br />Out of these silly experiences, I am learning that I really do need to 100% lean on God regarding my kids. I'm starting to read Raising Boys by James Dobson. So far it is really good. Any other suggestions out there?Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-35956872110272636382010-07-01T07:19:00.000-07:002010-07-01T07:31:18.100-07:00Blog..where have you gone?Gosh. It has been a while since I've blogged! Craziness. SO MUCH has gone on.<br /><br />It's been a crazy few months. This year has not be what I expected. Full of enormous, larger than me trials, loss, and genuine confusion! But with that have come some amazing revelations. Mostly I want to blog about what happened this past week at Jessie's brothers funeral.<br /><br />Ever since January it has been one hardship after another. I have literally felt like I was drowning in anxiety, big decisions to be made, the loss of my grandma which is still proving to be difficult, and every day craziness. The night before I left for David's funeral a few things had occurred that made me really feel like giving up. When I made it to David's funeral to my surprise came the biggest boost of peace I have gotten in a long while. If any of you did not watch the funeral service online should watch it. You can see it at res-life-fellowship.com Look under sermons and look at I believe 6/25. If you don't want to hear the whole thing, listen to the song Jess sang and the word she spoke. One of the things she said that impacted me the most was when she was talkign about when David's best friend passed away and he spent the whole year in his room digging into God to make sense of it all. When she said that I started to sob. Then she really got me when she said that the day after David died, she started really questioning God and walked away for that day. She said that walking away from God that one day was almost worse than losing her brother. When she said that the tears could not be stopped at all. My eyes had been opened. I realized. I have been walking away from God for these past few months. The trials have seemed so much bigger than me that I just neglected my relationship with my daddy God. My unhapiness was largly due to the fact that I was not in relationship with my comforter, my healer, my protector, the lover of my soul, the one who loved me whether I followed Him or not. Wow. And as far as hearing David dig in deep to God during that great time of loss, I realized I had done anything but that. I had let depression creep in and such intense sadness it was deblitating. I have walked around in zombie mode for months.<br /><br />WELL NO MORE! I am determined to overcome this feeling! I am determined to dig in deep to my daddy God. While it is OK that I grieve, and it is OK that I feel sadness about certain circumstances in my life, I am choosing NOT to live in that grief and sadness. I will overcome. I will dig deep, and I will seek my healer, my protector, the lover of my soul, my comforter. I will succeed and as my sister put it to me this morning "LIVE VICTORIOUSLY!" So stay tuned....Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-45449198974845031422010-02-27T04:51:00.000-08:002010-02-27T04:59:41.154-08:00It is well with my soulLast night I was driving around getting some last minute things done for my grandma's funeral. I was pretty much running around like a zombie. The past few days have felt debilitating. I have literally been walking around in circles! Anyway, I was driving by myself to go pick up some poster board and on this Christian radio station, It is well with my soul came on. I remember thinking that song was more for when young people die. Weird I guess. The reason why the author of that song wrote it is because his wife and child died and he was distraught and wrote this song. When I heard it, I feel like everything cleared up. It gave me a real peace knowing that everything is going to be OK and it is well with my soul. I am going to keep telling myself that because many times this week I've found myself so angry that this had to happen at all. She had so many years left in her and to have her die the way she did just doesn't seem fair. I always prayed that she would die in her sleep gracefully, not in this painful way in a hospital. Then I began to think, would it really have been better to get a phone call saying she was gone without ANY warning? Even though we only had 2 weeks to get used to the idea, I was so happy to be able to spend time with her. I went to her house with all of my cousins, then I was able to spend the night at her house, and then spend the day at the hospital the day before she died. Those times will be precious to me. <br /><br /> One of the last things she said to me was that she was proud of me and that she loved me. These were words I heard often from my grandma and I will cherish them forever.Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-62094359124183045682010-02-24T06:59:00.000-08:002010-02-24T07:09:12.692-08:00Grandma MazzulloWell, last time I posted I wrote that my grandma might have a very serious sickness. Well, she did. Aggressive Pancreatic Cancer. She went in last week to get tested to confirm, we got the confirmation last Wednesday and she died yesterday. Unbelievable. I am so grateful that I was able to spend the whole day Monday with her. She recognized me and gave me a few last bits of wisdom. She told me that in such a faint voice that she was ready. I didn't want to believe it. 2 weeks? By the end of the day that I was with her Monday she was no longer able to speak, she was just staring at the ceiling with such a blank stare. How could this strong, otherwise healthy woman go down so quickly? I am grateful that she did not suffer for a long period of time, but that does not make the pain any less. Last night I stayed up all night thinking of what an impact she had on my life. She lived in New Jersey for a majority of my life. She would come out to New York for recitals, Any kind of party, for the birth of both of my kids, for every baby shower or wedding shower and just to visit. She was superwoman. It Never crossed my mind that maybe one day she wouldn't be here. For the past year or so my family has been preparing for my grandpa to pass because he is 92, starting to lose it a little bit, and he's just fading slowly. Never did I ever even consider my grandma to pass. Up until 2 weeks ago, she was cooking for everyone still! She has left quite an amazing legacy to her kids and grandkids. I can say she showed such a depth of genuine love for me that no other grandparent has ever shown. She really was the most amazing grandma.<br /><br />Grandma, I miss you already. Who's going to talk to me about what's on sale this week at Shoprite? Who is going to send me anniversary cards on my birthday? Who is going to tell me those naughty jokes? Who is going to make me laugh like you did? I miss you and I love you more than I could have ever expressed. Thank you for all of the knowledge and wisdom you have imparted to me throughout the years. Thank you for loving me even in the hardest circumstances. You were a true example of what a woman should be like. I love you and I am going to miss you terribly. Enjoy heaven. Cook up a storm! I love you.....Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-56338522419944855902010-02-12T10:46:00.000-08:002010-02-12T11:20:17.657-08:00Learning to let go...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXklzY_yt7B9OsEOls9UnGIPKnqKGHaNq1OTIGgUTEyvsiD3KUWbOHHnnZXiRh60V59l6yqRs9MAosdpRYGRZic6sv-lIqv0M-RhdXtovzsakyWZOxKLVf_0COuCeVU5SWJmsLi-XOCKQy/s1600-h/thanksgiving09+043.jpg"> Dad and Grandma! She's so tiny!!<img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXklzY_yt7B9OsEOls9UnGIPKnqKGHaNq1OTIGgUTEyvsiD3KUWbOHHnnZXiRh60V59l6yqRs9MAosdpRYGRZic6sv-lIqv0M-RhdXtovzsakyWZOxKLVf_0COuCeVU5SWJmsLi-XOCKQy/s400/thanksgiving09+043.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437436734598496898" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSziGwfTXw1wa1-B-P0NBBgLhABSLn_WNKHLMwFLzvZnUG4sXEQILIQga1jFoq3elEvoCe13q0aE47mvnF2OnR6nMRZAF47kvxlJFEGTKR7SP7FKhU-HKinh7ndis6q7kY_rr37fKPgij6/s1600-h/thanksgiving09+013.jpg"> Grandma & Grandpa <img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSziGwfTXw1wa1-B-P0NBBgLhABSLn_WNKHLMwFLzvZnUG4sXEQILIQga1jFoq3elEvoCe13q0aE47mvnF2OnR6nMRZAF47kvxlJFEGTKR7SP7FKhU-HKinh7ndis6q7kY_rr37fKPgij6/s400/thanksgiving09+013.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437436731357194706" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />It has been a hard week. I'll blog a little about it.<br /><br />This is going to be written so that there can be prayer going on. I remember so many times when people would say their grandma or grandpa died, I would think oh that's sad. But not really sad like a friend died, or a sibling you know what I mean? I mean grandparents, they die..they get old. That's the way it goes.<br /><br />Well let me tell you about my grandparents. They are 92 and 88. My grandpa (92) is known in my family to be the story teller. He would love nothing more than to sit down with us and tell us stories about his childhood and his brothers and sisters, or about the war, or even fairy tales. The funniest part about the fairy tales is he would mix them all together. Start out with Snow White and end up with Cinderella. It's all the same anyway right? I adore my grandpa. I think he is a man of extreme wisdom. I admire so much about him, but what I admire the most is his total and complete love of his grandkids. Awesome awesome grandpa. My grandpa is a diabetic. He has been for many many years, and just 2 years ago, he starting losing all sight and is now completely blind. I am amazed by him, because even at 92, he is learning how to do new things like get on and off his chair (needs help most times) and is learning how to be completely reliant on others.<br /><br />This is where my grandma comes in. When you think of a little (I do mean little, around 4'11 to be exact!), naughty , misbehaved Italian grandma, you are picturing my grandma! She is the typical "EAT ALL YOUR FOOD! THERE ARE STARVING KIDS OUT THERE!" Italian. She is so much fun to be around, constantly saying something that makes your jaw drop (that's the naughty part!). And she is truly the highlight of all visits! She is famous for sending us anniversary cards on our birthdays and misspelling our names! She is truly hysterical! She's got that really broken Italian accent and cooks until her fingers fall off! She is truly the main reason why my grandpa is still alive. She gives him his insulin shots every day, takes his blood to check his levels, helps him get up to the bathroom, everything. She does so much. Whenever us kids would go over to her house, I remember the most the smells of the various foods she would cook. She truly is the best cook ever. But along with her hilarious side, she has a serious side. I always loved hearing my grandma's advice about different situations. She is also a very wise woman who would always tell me to forgive those who did me wrong or hurt me because it would only eat me up inside. She is always good for a hug and will chase you around the kitchen with a spoon if you are fresh to her! I have been blessed to have such amazing grandparents.<br /><br />It has always been assumed that if one of them would go, it would be my grandpa first. He's been sick and is old, and nothign would happen to my grandma. Not her, She's so spunky and acts like a 60 year old! Lately, she hasn't been feeling too well. We noticed extreme weight loss at Christmas. She was getting tired so quickly. Something was/is not right. Without going into detail, my grandma is facing a very serious life-threatening illness. She has not been officially diagnosed yet as ashe is going in for testing on Monday and Tuesday. Something is definitely wrong, and it can either be fixable or not. I am asking for prayer and I will say selfishly. I cannot imagine a holiday or a visit without her. I understand it is God's will that needs to be done, but I am still pleading. My mom is staying with my grandma right now and she has been so strong. I know this is taking a toll on her, so also pray for wisdom on my mom's part. Also for my aunt who is also there. There are so many details that I cannot share right now, but if what they think is wrong is confirmed, I will go more into it. I am praying that a miracle happens. She has so many years left in her.<br /><br />I am learning so much through this. Specifically about my eating actually. My grandparents have always been healthy eaters, good portions and overall very active. Ever since they were young. They still now live on their own and honestly, have had minimal health problems. I am realizing that if I keep treating my body like garbage, I will not be like them. I can start having health problems early. I am realizing that the quick fix and comfort of foods that are so not good for me is really not worth it in the long run. It's time to take myself seriously. So there it is!<br /><br />Tonight I am going to visit my grandma in New Jersey. I am excited and anxious to see her!!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-20590985811772630292010-02-02T10:50:00.000-08:002010-02-02T11:01:43.877-08:00Eat this, not that!<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Does anyone else feel completely confused as to what is right to eat? I mean you know the basics, vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, etc. I feel completely confused a lot of the time. I know fruits are good for you but wait, don't eat too much fruit alone because your sugar will shoot up, eat a piece of cheese or some kind of a protein with it..BUT WAIT! Cheese is fattening! Try not to eat it too much.... Yogurt is good for you right? But not Dannon with fruit...too much sugar. Hummus is good for you, but not too much..It just seems there is so much confusion when it comes what is good to eat! </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">All of this has caused such stress when it comes to eating! I heard someone say, that it is important to be careful how you view food because it is important to not be afraid of food because you can teach your kids those bad habits. I guess I really have to take the time to do my research! But even doing research seems confusing because you can find an opinion on anything! How do you really know who's opinion is closest to the truth?!?<br /><br />I was laughing at this poster that was hanging at the chiropractor. It said "If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed!" HAHA! I thought that was so funny. But I relate it to food too! I've become so cynical of a lot of the commercials they show on weight loss. I mean really, do these people truly care about people losing weight or do they take the 1 person out of 1000 that actually lost weight on their program and try to fool the American public?<br /><br />I'm truly convinced that the program that Crystal recommended to me (settingcaptivesfree.com- The Lord's Table) is going to be the key for me. I am only on day 2, but I'm already feeling so comforted and hopeful! I've been on so many of those diets and the truth is, nothing changed! In this program I'm starting to learn to change my priorities and change my motives for weight loss. Turning it from self serving to giving Glory to God in my discipline!<br /><br />So there it is! Today is going to be a great day. I can feel it!<br /></span>Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-67790939194193983952010-02-01T11:03:00.000-08:002010-02-01T11:16:15.201-08:00MarriageMy friend Elizabeth, who I deeply respect sent me this book. First off, let me tell you a little bit about her! She is a little bit younger than me, pregnant with her 4th child who is put together and one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. I met her while I was in Oklahoma last year. I was truly amazed that her kids were so well behaved and that she seemed like a picture of what a wife was supposed to be. She was married younger than me, and seems to be a completely content person. When I met her, initially I thought, man...I must be a wreck! She is so relaxed AND her kids are well behaved!! WHERE AM I GOING WRONG!!! **Disclaimer**...I think Samuel is well behaved and because of Elizabeth's example, a lot of discipline was started and changed some of the things Samuel was doing wrong around big time. So thanks Elizabeth!!<br /><br />Anyway, she recently sent me this book that I've been wanting to read because I've heard so much about it. It's called Created to Be His Help Meet. Now the reason why I am posting this is blog is because of how hard I just laughed at myself and the realization I had. I realized, that I did want to read the book, but the title made me angry! Why would the title make me angry I thought...Then, I read the first chapter and knew right away it was going to be a great book. I started flipping through the rest of the book and I came across this:<br /><br />The ABCs of being a Help Meet<br />A. Admit when you are wrong<br />B. Be positive<br />C. Cuddle<br />D. Do it his way<br />E. Encourage him<br />F. Fix his breakfast<br />G. Give back rubs<br />H. Hug often<br />I. "I love you" should be said many times daily<br />J. Joke around in a playful manner<br />K. Know his needs<br />L. Listen to him<br />M. Manage your home well<br />N. Never hold grudges<br />O. Open your eyes in the morning and smile<br />P. Pray for him<br />Q. Quit nagging him<br />R. Reminisce about good times<br />S. Show respect and honor<br />T. Trust, and earn his trust<br />U. Understand his need for reverence<br />V. Vulnerability is a feminine trait; cultivate it<br />W. Wink at him<br />X. X is for private times<br />Y. Yearn to please him<br />Z. Zealously guard him with your love<br /><br />Now I am going to be COMPLETELY honest here. I had such a violent reaction to this list (as in a bad one!!). All I translated all of this as was A.) Doormat B.) Doormat C.) Doormat D.) Be a bigger doormat....What is wrong with me!! Then I sat down and really thought. You know, this is the problem with a lot of marriages these days! Exactly my reaction! What is wrong with doing these things? NOTHING! I realize that our society (or at least where I live!) has become so hugely I am woman hear me roar, that we have neglected these things and as a result I believe it is party a reason for the breakdown in marriage these days. Not saying it is all the woman's fault, obviously, but I just wanted to blog and say, I am very interested to see how my attitude changes through reading this book! I'll let you know how it goes! Thoughts anyone?Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-35265947603449135682010-01-28T18:51:00.001-08:002010-01-28T19:01:41.027-08:00Partners anyone?<span style="font-family: verdana;">OK..It is time..It has been time.... I need a weight loss partner. I thought this blog would keep me accountable, but I"M NOT DOING GOOD! Today I went to the OB/GYN **No not pregnant*** just for the annual check up fun stuff, and I got weight *the dread* It's time. I need a partner!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Now that I'm done screaming. I decided to take a Math class at school because I'm not so great at math. Let me tell you something. That was S-T-U-P-I-D. It's a 3 hour class once a week and we are breezing through things that I just can't get a good grasp of. I think the math alone would make it easy for me to say FORGET IT to school. But I know in the end it will be worth it.<br /><br />I am learning that it is time to de-stress. The stress is starting to effect my body in a lot of ways. My back specifically. I'm having to go to the chiropractor on a regular basis now. Actually is kind of nice, it's a good 20 minutes to myself.<br /><br />I have to admit, I have not had the time with God that I need to have. Do you ever feel like a day passes you and you wonder , what the heck did I do today?!? God is really speaking to me about getting up early (yes, even if Zachary is sleeping) and spend that alone time with Him. My day needs to begin with God or it seems to go crazy! So that is my goal... To get to bed early, and to get up early! Get some schedule goin here!<br /><br />This post has been really random...Hmm..Ok..Gonna go!!<br /></span>Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-84232052703587716772010-01-23T12:18:00.000-08:002010-01-23T12:28:49.668-08:00This week....So this week of implementing the new changes with Samuel has gone amazing! He absolutely loves all of the Christian videos--specifically Veggie Tales (will I regret this?). I'm seeing a change even in his personality. It's not like he was ever mean or anything like that. He has always been across the board a sweet and happy kid. But I just see more of a lightness I guess! I have to say, when God gave him those dimples, he was definitely thinking of me :-) They melt my heart away!<br /><br />Now as far as Zachary. Well, he is also adorable and melts my heart, but, he threw a tantrum for the first time. I mean looked at me, lost his mind in anger, went on his stomach and kicked and cried..Um.... 9 months? Samuel NEVER threw tantrums. I can only remember 1 time when he did and I just walked over him and ignored it. But he was almost 2 when that happened! What do I do about a 9 month old tantrum? Well, quite honestly I laughed..I thought it was hilarious.<br /><br />And now a funny Samuel story! He was at school on Thursday and when I went to pick him up his teacher was waiting for me **never a good feeling**. She said Samuel had gotten in trouble because while they were outside, she told him not to play in mud and he went ahead and did it anyway and ruined his shoes. So she said she punished him by not letting him be outside anymore and took his shoes off and told him basically that his punishment was to be inside. So when I put him in the car, I asked him "Samuel, did you not listen to Miss Shannon?" "No momma..I was naughty".. "Samuel, it is important that you listen to your teacher. She is the authority when you are here and it hurts the heart of God when you don't listen and it makes God so happy when you do! You need to say sorry to Miss Shannon and never disobey her again. Do you understand?" "yes momma, I sowwy." OK...So then I started talking to him about the rest of his day and did he have fun and what did he have for snack... And, like every day he comes home from school I say, "Samuel, what was your favorite part of your day?" In all seriousness..... With those big eyes...he says..."The mud.". !!! Oh Lord...And there that goes..Started dying laughing..Oh well...Gotta laugh some times!<br /><br />As far as my weight and this battle with it. I've been exercising every day faithfully for going on my 3rd week. I have not lost A POUND. I have eaten for the most part good, but I think I need to refine it a little more and maybe cut some foods out. I am finding that I have a hard time eating fruit in the winter, so I started making fruit smoothies again. So delish! Just put some strawberries, bananas, blueberries, and some yogurt and ice in the blender and it tastes yummy! I went to a women's Bible Study and it was all about the thoughts we have towards ourselves and how we need to see ourselves more positively, so I'm just going to enjoy my life right now, no matter what, and pray for help in this frustrating area of my life!! Hope everyone's week is good!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-83780708769461299722010-01-19T12:35:00.000-08:002010-01-19T13:06:38.718-08:00Parenting!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6EnaC7j38kPws6dDnP5BDnGy2SwhfbO5_QyZO3WwI1S-ZRwyodma8YbllGGPWhqp41og9chTuOcuGI4sFTKcHkviY4XWvGZtkuHDTRCQkmMTFnldDIwLN0ISpuSsp-rqfxlNSlf8BKywJ/s1600-h/christmas+019.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6EnaC7j38kPws6dDnP5BDnGy2SwhfbO5_QyZO3WwI1S-ZRwyodma8YbllGGPWhqp41og9chTuOcuGI4sFTKcHkviY4XWvGZtkuHDTRCQkmMTFnldDIwLN0ISpuSsp-rqfxlNSlf8BKywJ/s400/christmas+019.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428560263439957826" border="0" /></a><br />Who would have ever thought that parenting would be so hard? Just yesterday I was realizing what a HUGE responsibility it was to raise children. You would think this would have hit me, I don't know, 4 years ago. I guess it is fair to say that it has hit me at various points.<br /><br />So, what brought me to this realization? Well, my darling 4 year old Samuel was in another room when I went to go and check on him and made a VERY VERY fresh remark to the effect of "Mommy get out of here and don't come back until I call you" I had to clean out my ears to make sure I heard him correctly. Did my 4 year old seriously just be that fresh and disrespectful to me? In that 3 seconds before I acted on this remark said to me, these are the feelings I had. Fear rushing through my veins, felt slightly lightheaded as in " OH MY GOSH....Attitude? Wait..NOT YET!", How should I deal with this? OK.. BREATHE DANIELLE. So, when I finally came to, I dealt with it right away and he was less than pleased with his punishment, but I suddenly thought Oh my gosh! Have I been neglecting him in some way that he would come out and be fresh? Is it school? Are Josh and I too sarcastic with each other in front of him (probably)? AHHHH...<br /><br />This little comment that he made to me really made me think. What am I exposing him to as a kid? Now I can see how that can sound bad. It is not like I'm putting R movies on in front of him, nothing like that. But for all of you moms who have kids around Samuel's age, I'm sure you can relate. You kind of watch whatever you watch or say things or have phone conversations thinking that they really can't understand you. Then when they come out with certain things you begin to realize. It is really time to be careful!<br /><br />Being confused and upset about another few things that happened that night, I called my mom. I told her basically that I was considering sending my kids back to the baby factory because this was all too scary. Through my conversation I realized things needed to change around here. I realized that I was not incorporating God into our daily lives like I should be. These past 4 years of mommyhood I feel have been all about surviving and growing up myself! I have so much invested in my life thanks to my parents that I guess I didn't realize how important it was that they did that for me! So I got inspired! Little things are goign to change. I'm embarassed to admit, but occasionally I do let Samuel watch Spongebob - which I don't like. I'm going to start balancing out the TV he watches and switch some of it up with Christian DVD's. Also, I realized his love for music! So thanks to Aunt Dawnie, Samuel now has a CD of Christian songs that I have been playing and he LOVES it!! I know it seems small and maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but I guess I just had an AHA moment! I needed to start really getting my walk with God in order so that I can set an example for my son and to stop just surviving motherhood and start enjoying every second including the hard ones!<br /><br />So here's to new perspectives and interesting 4 year olds!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-83726542894841430702010-01-17T18:59:00.000-08:002010-01-17T19:04:19.934-08:00Oh goodness...Facebook has taken over!Every since I joined Facebook I have sadly neglected this blog :-( Really need to try to update more often!<br /><br />Lets see, what is new...I don't even know what I posted about last! Well Samuel is good. Loving school still. I'm getting into a stage with him that I'll have to blog about at another time, but it's scary. I'm hitting that point as a mom where I'm thinking "Oh my Gosh did I really do this? I'm in trouble!"<br /><br />Zachary is, well, adorable! He's got a lot of personality and is very curious. And I cannot believe he is almost 9 months! Where has time gone!<br /><br />Josh is doing OK..going through some difficult times, but he'll survive!<br /><br />Me, I"M A WRECK! Seriously people. A wreck. I am currently so sleep deprived the smallest problem seems like a massive mountain! I mean I cried over not having an extra can of sauce the other day. Really hitting a low! It is so hard to live here in PA without family! There are some other things going on that I don't really care to go into detail about, but if any of you think of me throughout the day, just throw up a prayer for grace! The weight thing is..well constantly on the mind, always on the back burner. We just joined the YMCA which ahs been really nice! I just completed my first full week of exercising! Ahh feels so nice!<br /><br />Does anyone else hate winter? I feel so blue during the winter! The other day it briefly got warm and I went outside for a run and actually felt like everything was going to be OK. I was happy! I'm amazed at how many times God needs to remind me to fall back on him! When do we ever learn?<br /><br />Anyway, I hear my baby crying, so I must go, but hopefully, I will be keeping up.. (where have I heard that before?)Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-37951038387779592292009-12-17T18:53:00.000-08:002009-12-17T19:01:00.790-08:00Shees..September?Wow..I can't believe the last time I blogged was in September. NOT GOOD. I keep thinking all of you are on facebook, but I think it is important for me to blog!<br /><br />So what's been new.. Um...Well for starters, Samuel turned 4 last week. Totally amazing. I cannot even believe it! He got his first bike and he has been begging me to ride it every day. Unfortunately, he has been sick on and off for a solid 3 months now so going outside in the freezing cold air is certainly not an option! I guess that is the downside to having a winter birthday! He's talking up a storm finally so that is good and he is absolutely LOVING pre-school! He loves his teacher and really loves his friend "Hangelo" translated, Angelo... <br /><br />Zachary is a total and complete ham. Way too cute. He's already almost 8 months. Can't believe it! He's crawling, pulling himself up on EVERYTHING and is quite demanding. He's really lucky he is cute! Poor kid has also been sick on and off! It seems that one of them gets better, the other one gets worse. Ugh.GO AWAY SICKNESS!<br /><br />And as for me. My first semester at college was hugely successful! I really enjoyed it and got A's all across the board! It's totally different going to college older. I find I'm more into it. Love love love it! As for my weight, um...Well, that's another story. Not going well. I keep telling myself I could have been done with my weight loss by now three times over had I just stuck with it. But I guess there is really no point in sounding like a broken record. I know what I need to do and the bottom line is, I just need to do it. We joined the YMCA here and since we have joined, I have been going every day (sometimes twice a day!) so that's been good. I don't see any results, and I realize that it can be up to 8 weeks before you see anything, but I am starting to feel results. So I am just praying for strength to finish. I need to lose at the minimum 3o pounds to be healthy. I can do it and I am prepared to take as long as it takes. I need to just stop obsessing about it and just do it!! So here's to another shot at it!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-80576551504417266192009-09-22T10:35:00.001-07:002009-09-22T10:43:13.737-07:00It's been a while!So It has been a LONG WHILE since I've blogged. So much has gone on. Well for starters, we went to LI for 2 weeks after I last blogged. That threw me completely off..The long and short of it, I have not worked out once in over a month and I have gained about 6 pounds now.. (originally 8, but I lost 2) I cannot seem to get back on track. I have started school which is a big undertaking, but I am enjoying it! Samuel has also started pre-school! HE LOVES IT! He talks and talks about "Ms.Shaddon" translation- Ms. Shannon. I've been working with him to remember what his teachers name is so today when I picked him up, I said "Samuel, what is your teacher's name?" He said "Ms. Shaddon. She loves me". HAHA! I LOVE HIM! I also just joined MOPS which is great. I highly encourage anyone who isn't a part of a MOPS group to join. It is so nice to be with other moms and to get encouraged in the Word at the same time.<br /><br />I have found that this is a challenge for me. I am seeing that the way I look has been keeping me inside. Literally. I notice that I DREAD going to church, or dropping Samuel off, or even going to Long Island because I cannot stand the way I look. I don't like how I feel and I'm sick of going around this mountain. So again, I need to really work on this. I'm going to stop looking at it as a diet. It has to be a way of living.<br /><br /> I am taking a Nutrition class right now in college and I read something very eye opening. It was talking about the difference between "Hunger" and "Appetite". Hunger actually starts in your brain. It shoots a signal down which basically says "EAT". An Appetite also has to do with the mind but in a different way. The book was saying that when you pass by a bakery say, your eye catches that chocolate cake which sends a signal and you may not necessarily be hungry, but you get it because it visually looks good. It said if you walk away and train yourself to do so, change yoru thinking, it will not effect you so badly. So, I thought that was a great way to look at it, so that is how I am going to look at food from now on!<br /><br />So that is a small update. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with this blog! We shall see :-)Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-76782605096611763132009-08-07T21:12:00.000-07:002009-08-07T21:24:56.480-07:00Struggles.....I've been wondering for the past WEEK that I haven't blogged, about getting past these struggles. Wondering if for my whole life I am going to have to struggle with my weight.<br /><br />For the past week, I have had insomnia. I mean just not sleeping. I am exhausted. Every night, I've had these extreme fears hitting me. I always am wondering what would happen if something happened to my kids, what if Zachary is sleeping on his belly and stops breathing, what if someone breaks in? Is the door locked? What do I have to do tomorrow? Are the bills paid? Why did I not eat right tonight? Why have I not blogged? Just to name a few. I mean constant keeping me up at night. It's been a huge struggle and I am wondering what God is doing in this and why I am so not at peace lately. It has been effecting my eating in a huge way. I have either not eaten, or eaten junk. I cannot say I have had a completely healthy meal in about a week and a half. I have only exercised twice this week and both work outs were not the greatest. So here I am again at 12:15am wondering, Why am I so unsettled?<br /><br />I am about to go spend some time with God and really try to get a breakthrough here. I think I am learning right now that I am having a hard time because I am in a sense regretting my life. I was talking to Josh tonight about my eating habits and just telling him how I am struggling with my sweet tooth. I mean EVERY DAY I want sweets. That is it. He asked me if I have always had that desire and I realized that I only started having a huge sweet tooth after Samuel was born. Insightful a little huh? I realize that I have not forgiven myself for the way my life has gone. This was not MY plan. MY plan was to go to college, have a career, get married at 25 earliest, work and then have kids. Here I am at 24, married, no degree, and 2 kids! Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids..I am desperately in love with them.. I love my husband... And my anniversary is next week. 4 years! I am just seeing that food has seemed to be the only comfort for me. I already knew this. Whenever something in my life doesn't go right, I feel out of control. I get completely out of control in all areas of my life. I think God is trying to show me that when one thing goes wrong or not according to what I assumed my life would be, I cannot allow everything else to come crashing down. <br /><br />I do not want to struggle. I do not want to feel like I do right now. I'm not even sure if I am supposed to be feeling like this! Am I being too hard on myself? I really don't like it when Christians are constantly "struggling" with something. And I feel like that is me sometimes. I don't believe Christians need to be struggling constantly. We have all the tools to be free! So why aren't we?<br /><br />I was listening to talk radio this afternoon and this radio show host was talking about a dream he was having. I was half listening, but then the radio seemed as if it was blaring and all I heard the guy say is this: "If you want to have peace in your life you need to have God as the center". No joke, this was 710AM radio...NOT a christian station, mostly politics and this is what this guy randomly says? Sounds like God wants my attention! So I am going to go now and really seek God tonight...No more messing around!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-21507369860126630952009-07-31T21:08:00.000-07:002009-07-31T21:15:20.771-07:00My reason for not blogging....Because I have been bad...very bad...But it is ok. I am not going to be so hard on myself. I have to loosen up or I will not get anywhere. I am pretty sure the stress alone is causing me NOT to lose weight..so, I'm not going to think about it. Or try not to at least. I am going to do what I know to do. I am going to eat right and exercise like I usually do. God will have to take care of the rest.<br /><br />I have decided that I need to incorporate more fish into my diet. I am going to try and eat fish at least twice a week. So the plan as of now, is fish twice a week, chicken three times a week, turkey meat one day a week and then a red meat, whether it be steak or chop meat. So , that is the updated plan!!!<br /><br />Nothing new really going on around here. I start school on August 26th and I am SOOOO excited. I am taking 4 classes online. It doesn't look like I'll have to physically go to the school at all. Mostly all of the courses I need are online which is working out great for me! Also, I found out that my schooling is covered 100%! Thank you Lord for providing!! I am actually going to receive money for school. Sweet.<br /><br />My kids are ADORABLE. Every day I am telling you they are melting my heart away. Zachary is much more vocal. He spends the whole day cooing and looking at me as if he has something super important to say. Samuel is VERY VERY mischeivious these days, but it's ok. I've been noticing his eyes lately. He really does have beautiful big eyes and really long dark eyelashes. Pretty goodlookin' kid :-) Not that I am bias or anything :-) Zachary is sleeping wonderfully through the night. He goes to bed at around 9:3o 10:00 and sleeps until 7:35 every morning. LIKE CLOCKWORK he wakes up at 7:35 exactly. I nurse him, he stays up until about 9 and goes back to sleep until 11:30. Amazing. I really think using the binky has a lot to do with it. My sister's baby still doesn't sleep good for her, but she never took the binky. I bet if she had that, she would have slept better. Maybe not :-) She's only the world's cutest little thing!!! You have to hear her.. My sister says in a loud voice "Don't touch!" And you hear her little raspy girly voice say while she's pointing her finger "dunt tuch". AHHH. Makes me want to eat her little face up!!!<br /><br />So that's the update... Hope everyone in blogworld is great!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-6587896693341895702009-07-28T05:05:00.001-07:002009-07-28T05:13:01.145-07:00Ahh has it been that many days?It's been a few yes. A few not so good days! I am getting increasingly frustrated. My weight is NOT BUDGING. NOT AT ALL. My work outs are great, and I'm not feeling as "floppy" for lack of a better word, but I'm also not feeling very comfortable in my clothes. ARGH. On top of everything, Samuel has been well, let's just say A BOY to the max. I mean, if I am not entertaining him every second of the day, he is truly testing my patience.<br /><br />So this is all a trickle effect. I find that since I'm frustrated about my weight, my apartment is starting to slowly slip which is causing stress. Then of course there is that lovely time of the month..as in paying the bills. Whenever that happens I almost shut down completely. First let me say, I AM SO THANKFUL for Josh's job. Now let me say, we are struggling with this pay. I know it is only for the time being and he will be making more as soon as he passes his levels, but in the mean time, it's been really rough. We took a HUGE pay cut to come here... $10,000 to be exact. On top of starting to pay for insurance through his job, and the bills are not cheaper here in good old Philadelphia. I called around for car insurance only to find out that Philadelphia has one of the nations highest car insurance rates. And boy were they not kidding. One place quoted me for $2000 every 6 months!! WHAT ARE THEY NUTS! Who can afford that these days? I mean we literally drive within a 5 mile radius every day. Except for when we go to NY. Crazy. So for now, I have to keep my current insurance. Ahh the stress.<br /><br />I'm sure the stress going on right now IS NOT helping with weight loss. I am definitely losing my motivation and I guess my hope. I love my kids and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But sometimes I feel like I'm not sure how many kids I want to have if every time after my body goes through this beating. This weight loss can be so daunting. I think I am also too hard on myself. I think I am spending too much time on the computer hoping that by the time I get off, all of the stress will go away. It's not the case at all. So, for now, I need to get off of this computer and clean. Today I go for my placement testing. Yes, I am starting college again! Hooray. I must be crazy. Major scheduling will have to go on this next year!! Anyway, gotta go! Hope everyone is well!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-9820379550712501242009-07-23T20:55:00.000-07:002009-07-23T21:00:53.198-07:00Getting full!I followed my eating plan exactly today and I WA S STUFFED by dinner...So I just didn't eat dinner because I wasn't hungry. Weird. Never thought there would be a point in my life where I wasn't hungry. Funny.<br /><br />Workout was great. I finally figured out what to do to fit in my regular strength training and training for this 5k. Josh doesn't leave for work until 9:45am. So I have been going running at around 7:30 and then in the evening when he comes home, I go and do my upper body or lower body..Whatever is due on that day. Right now I do cardio Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturday and I alternate doing Upper body and Lower body on Monday Wednesday and Friday and I take Sunday off. So I am just going to add that extra cardio in the mornings on Monday Wednesday and Friday. I think it will work well.<br /><br />Please pray for Josh by the way. He has been increasingly frustrated with his job which means, you've got it frustrated at home. He has to get a recommendation to pass to the next level in his job and he has been having a tough time getting it. If he doesn't get it in the next 2 weeks that could mean he could lose his job which would be TERRIBLE. So please pray. I am confident that he will get it, and he seems to think so too, but I think his frustration is preventing him from passing. So please pray for him this week! It's vital that he passes. I'll keep you all updated!<br /><br />So that is it for tonight. Till tomorrow!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-13043791517124838752009-07-23T07:12:00.001-07:002009-07-23T07:21:29.345-07:00Ahhh... Relief...Yesterday my mom, sister, brother and niece came to visit me. It was SO refreshing to see some NORMAL (well, what's normal anyway) familiar faces. I needed that so badly. My niece is an absolute adorable, true girly girl. She's got the attitude and everything. If you jump over to my facebook and look under my new pictures "visit with the fam" You will see her. She absolute lights up my life. She definitely entertains me! We brought her in the pool for the first time. Let's just say, she is less than thrilled with the pool! haha! More like SHE HATED IT. After quite a few minutes of her being in the pool and screaming, she finally would walk around it like a little princess who was truly annoyed. Love her love her love her. Now my sister is having another baby and I cannot wait!!!<br /><br />So my workouts have been going really well. I am really pushing myself to my limit and I am feeling very strong. I started training for a 5K I want to do in NYC. Anna pointed out that I could probably skip the first 2 weeks of the training schedule and jump right into the 3rd and she was right! I didn't realize that I could actually do it, but I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm not going to lie though, it is TOUGH. But I am really excited to see my progress.<br /><br />When it comes to the eating, well I was doing really good until yesterday when my family came. It is not that I am necessarily eating junk, but a lot of starches as of late. That is definitely my downfall. I LOVE starchy food. Some of my favorites are chips, crackers, mashed potatos, and my all time favorite, pasta. All foods I should only being eating in extreme moderation. Ahh.. I decided to remind myself that I was not going to take a free day right now. I think once I get into a healthy weight range it will be ok for me to do that. But in this initial weight loss period, I need to just be a little strict. I still have about 12 pounds to go before I am in a healthy weight range for my height. So until then, bye bye free days. I'm OK with that. Well, let's see if I'm ok with it when I'm having a strong craving. I find that when I keep up with my fruit, I don't crave sugar as much. So I am making sure I am always stocked up on fruit.<br /><br />So that is the deal. I have had a good couple of days and I'm proud of that! So until tomorrow!!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-56648940694108290262009-07-22T06:54:00.000-07:002009-07-22T06:55:10.287-07:00Thanks Anna!!Thanks to Anna for making my page so BEAUTIFUL! I love it! My mom, sister, niece, and brother are coming today! Hooray! I'll post tonight!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-46839055918869589782009-07-18T20:25:00.000-07:002009-07-18T20:41:16.734-07:00Anyone wondering?Just wondering if anyone was wondering why I haven't blogged for most of my weekend? Well..here it is...I AM DREADING the confession of the HORRIBLE weekend I have been having. Not only food wise, but life wise. I have had one of those few days where I think I could quite possibly rip my hair out. Samuel has been having multiple, and I mean multiple accidents. I had to finally break down and get him pull ups again. I have seriously been washing his sheets once and twice a day... Until yesterday he decided to skip peeing in bed because now he had pull ups..instead he'd pee on my floor. All you mommies of boys isn't this wonderful? The new toy they have found. Let's see the maximum amount of damage I can cause mentally on my mother. Let's see how many bottles of detergent she can go through? Wonder if she is getting tired of my room smelling like pee and vinegar? I love Samuel, I do, he's just driving me a bit crazy. And I LOVE the suggestion my mom made...First off, I love you mom. She said "maybe he needs more attention?" WHAT. I have to glue my eyes on his body to give him more attention... I'm at a complete loss.<br /><br />Another thing that has been going on is the reality of the fact that my grandparents are getting old. Well, really old. My grandpa is 92 and my grandma is 88. Let me tell you, my mom's parents have been the best grandparents anyone could ask for. They have always lived in New Jersey, but, let me tell you, it was always clear that they were always there for us. My grandma is a little old Italian lady with a THICK accent. She is wonderful. She has such pearls of wisdom even through her sometimes gross comments. My grandpa was always kind of a silent strength to me. My grandpa could definitely tell a good story, but for the most part, he would sit and just seem to observe. When he started talking though, be sure you were ready to sit for a while! But I realized, as a kid sometimes I would think this was annoying, but my grandpa has so much to offer. My grandparents to me are the example of what kind of a married couple I'd like to be. They bicker yes, which is very funny, but, for the past I think it's been about 40 years, my grandpa has had diabetes. My grandmother has taken such amazing care of him I mean I am sure he would not be alive today if he didn't have her. He has just recently gone completely blind and he is starting to lose it a little bit. He seems more confused. He just was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It's in the very early stages and it can progress very slowly, so it is likely that he will die of old age before he dies of prostate cancer. I was talking to my grandma yesterday and she was crying saying she wasn't ready to lose him. She didn't want to lose him. I cannot describe the bond they have. I remember one time my grandma had a procedure done and for some reason, I think she was gone over night. We were at my aunts house and my grandpa was miserable without her. As soon as she came home he went right up to her and gave her a hug and she hugged him and they both said "I missed you! Are you ok!". It made my heart want to explode. Here they are, these two people who have spent most of their lives together still loving each other after all of these years. I guess where I am going with this is their love for each other and their love for us grandkids is unlike any love I have really seen. I am not ready to lose my grandparents and I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with them. They have been huge icons in my life and I cannot imagine my life without them. When I hear my grandpa start to get confused, or I see my grandma start to get tired quicker than she used to, it gives me some sort of a reality check. They are getting to the end of their lives. It's not easy to think about. I am just sad I guess. I want my grandparents around forever. They mean a whole lot to me.<br /><br />Ok now I'm crying... So this has been kind of a sad couple of days for me.. I think I am overwhelmed right now. It's a lot of work to be home with both kids and in a whole other state . I am starting to feel it a bit. I also am having a hard time connecting with people here. I am not sure how to make friends with young couples. I am emotional right now..I think I should probably just go to sleep and I will feel better in the morning. I am going to go for a walk with my ipod and worship music on.. I need to just clear my head I guess...<br /><br />Oh ya, and eating...well.... whatever... haha!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-64281769212530494682009-07-16T19:04:00.000-07:002009-07-16T19:11:00.087-07:00Deep CleaningI've been struggling with my eating. Not that I'm necessarily eating bad things, I'm just not eating. I have found myself so busy that I suddenly feel dizzy an sick and then I think "Oh I forgot to eat!". So , I decided I need to get myself back on track. So how did I do that? I decided to deep clean my apartment. I don't have any excuse not to make my food except laziness. My apartment is spotless, my bills are paid, and I can completely focus on my eating now. Or should I?<br /><br />I was watching Rachel Ray the other day and they had a doctor on that specializes in eating disorders. She was saying that as a society today, we are so obsessed with food and we are going to continue to pass it on if we don't realize the facts. She says, the fact is, everything in moderation is not bad! She said this is the best way to put it. Imagine you are making cookies with your kid. The cookies are done and you are looking at the cookies like they are the devil. You tell your child "don't worry, you can have a cookie, mommy just won't have one" That child is going to start thinking there is something horribly wrong with that cookie. So her advice was, there are foods that you shouldn't eat every day ie. Fast food, cookies, cakes, simple carbs etc, but those are not completely off limits. If you teach your child each day how to eat basically healthy, they won't struggle as much when they are older. So RELAX! So I decided to take her advice. I am going to relax. I am still going to not have any sweets or things like that in my apartment. I never really have and quite honestly, they are expensive. But every once in a while, Samuel will be OK having some of that stuff. I don't want him growing up to think food is the devil. Food historically is meant to be enjoyed. Most get togethers back in the day took place around a banquet. Food is meant to be enjoyed!!! Not hated!! So, I am going to thorouly enjoy my healthy food!!<br /><br />I need to go get my baby now...he is quite mad at Josh right now...Until later!!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-6148112544038027852009-07-15T15:52:00.000-07:002009-07-15T15:58:32.180-07:00Som pics...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5YW4PP946UXx6YKRtWBj8jkygfEnHD5khJl8Ej6L5_iNoG0mglrpUFuMhRDmdAOMZn8mtpGaVq2s2uQAyNpcDiwKRB5TyFu5BOv4J7zJ1p2vDTV2kyPcuoWnsMr6FOnCDTMlH-x96Fxz/s1600-h/boysss+012.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5YW4PP946UXx6YKRtWBj8jkygfEnHD5khJl8Ej6L5_iNoG0mglrpUFuMhRDmdAOMZn8mtpGaVq2s2uQAyNpcDiwKRB5TyFu5BOv4J7zJ1p2vDTV2kyPcuoWnsMr6FOnCDTMlH-x96Fxz/s400/boysss+012.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358824789377308594" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6CnGfxo4nOQL64zmW_AI684VCwGuipGdPs60pqjuIqMRSHsDNDzfXPz2UDq2FBUAbD7xW_kPV9zBQOcu7Vc-aRtId9Jy-TMkpvTjFgy_z3ot6y3aa0_TwZ3S8zM4LqMGxCa-CAJIPyGMl/s1600-h/boysss+015.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6CnGfxo4nOQL64zmW_AI684VCwGuipGdPs60pqjuIqMRSHsDNDzfXPz2UDq2FBUAbD7xW_kPV9zBQOcu7Vc-aRtId9Jy-TMkpvTjFgy_z3ot6y3aa0_TwZ3S8zM4LqMGxCa-CAJIPyGMl/s400/boysss+015.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358824778618065698" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltdgs-nWkxZtwP-Neo0u_1ZXsyrsdZ_DtkcbOOYq1ar0hc27shBQUDVG5LivqduCcT4bS9XHnl3hYfwr3ChPzBE9BrTLOeHZvsM1LETzAw7ir4yXEruPfc6KweKpZBNvgBeepgxsBy_6N/s1600-h/boysss+011.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltdgs-nWkxZtwP-Neo0u_1ZXsyrsdZ_DtkcbOOYq1ar0hc27shBQUDVG5LivqduCcT4bS9XHnl3hYfwr3ChPzBE9BrTLOeHZvsM1LETzAw7ir4yXEruPfc6KweKpZBNvgBeepgxsBy_6N/s400/boysss+011.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358824776710813746" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifsqgs3yl6n9Y4ppVb3TZtmr9OHwj1PRR6SFDlgzXjmeE5txEhlA-cWK4QTNLffX2dmt_gjYCU-McS_Znk-83PyoiKkXbrKHTl1BPoleEsI2Fwc4m9SWdkN8yWsrbBA93e-mEFJwmKpkWf/s1600-h/boys+031.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifsqgs3yl6n9Y4ppVb3TZtmr9OHwj1PRR6SFDlgzXjmeE5txEhlA-cWK4QTNLffX2dmt_gjYCU-McS_Znk-83PyoiKkXbrKHTl1BPoleEsI2Fwc4m9SWdkN8yWsrbBA93e-mEFJwmKpkWf/s400/boys+031.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358824768017471810" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGv6805qhiMacLaO3o56yObs4Gp_qln0yJ0Lxvo4Y96PAw-gYd04Jrzq_a-DC2K7niCvPiWi0P-tTNGHSIOtgiyGJ5LamZFQf7bC_jkhVd3w5aU1r_exnNRkq4MqJqlB8NdwWINAIDvk0-/s1600-h/boys+033.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGv6805qhiMacLaO3o56yObs4Gp_qln0yJ0Lxvo4Y96PAw-gYd04Jrzq_a-DC2K7niCvPiWi0P-tTNGHSIOtgiyGJ5LamZFQf7bC_jkhVd3w5aU1r_exnNRkq4MqJqlB8NdwWINAIDvk0-/s400/boys+033.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358824761644719474" border="0" /></a>Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-42422322426089233232009-07-15T05:21:00.000-07:002009-07-15T05:31:14.780-07:00Scorcher today!It's really warm out today and according to the forecast, looks like it is going to be the last nice day for a little while because I guess the rain misses us.. So, I have to make this short so that I can clean my kitchen and get out by noon to the pool * not that it will take that long to clean my kitchen, I only have 1 pan to clean *. I also forgot to make Josh lunch, so I've gotta do that!<br /><br />I have had a hard time getting back on track ever since that free day. Not good. I still feel slightly sick for some reason. It's probably because I haven't slept a lot in the past few days. Zachary is such a good boy and is sleeping through the night which is wonderful. He has been for about 3 weeks. He sleeps more than Samuel at this point. Samuel for some reason keeps having accidents over night. I'm thinking of putting pull ups on him at night again. I don't know if he'll do it. I tried putting a pull up on him a couple of weeks ago and he wanted nothing to do with it. He said to me "I not a baby, I am a big boy!". Awww...<br /><br />Also, Samuel has been picked on quite a bit at the pool by some of these nasty kids! I never have felt an urge to hit a child , but when the pick on Samuel, the urge is very strong and present! One kid, Lord help me, I yelled at. This was insane. First off he kept saying "Spanish people should be shot" OH MY GOSH! Then, Samuel was playing with one of his buckets and he had Samuels water gun. Him and his stupid little friend decided they wanted to bucket. Samuel was laughing because they were chasing him- he thought for fun. Well basically they cornered him in the pool and started squirting water in his mouth and nose. I RAN over there and almost ripped those kids faces off. I started yelling because I got nervous. The father ran over and said to me "why are you yelling? They were just having fun" to which I replied "Picking on my son and squirting water up his nose and in his mouth at the same time is fun?!?!? NO. THAT COULD KILL HIM" Basically the lifeguard came over and kicked the kids and the father out of the pool because that was apparantly the third time that day they had picked on a kid and they were in the kids pool even though they were something like 8 or 9. I don't know how to deal with that stuff? I guess at this age you talk to the parents? <br /><br />Samuel is really a good boy. He doesn't even realize they are being mean to him. He just smiles and walks away. It makes me so sad. I don't know what to do!! Any advice?<br /><br />Anyway, hopefully today will be a good day! Gotta go grab some breakfast!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-87835126524474897632009-07-13T20:16:00.000-07:002009-07-13T20:28:15.983-07:00Tough day...I've had a tough day today. Last night I ended up sleeping for a grand total of about 3 hours. I had parked in a no parking spot in my court because the nearest parking spot was literally a half a mile away- no was at midnight was I walking by myself back to the apartment. So, I confess, I parked illegally *Sarah don't tell KYLE!*. I thought it was worth the risk because the ticket is only $10, but I was so nervous that maybe they would tow my car or something that I kept waking up every half hour. Guess it doesn't pay to break the law. Then on top of it, Samuel had an accident in his bed, Zachary woke up REALLY EARLY then Samuel was up for the count at 5:30am...eeeekkkk... So needless to say today was a sleepy day and I have felt horribly sick all day and eating has not been an option. Whenever I don't sleep I get sick. Josh let me take a long nap tonight and Samuel unfortunately fell asleep with me, so now here we are at 11:30 both up and Zachary is sleeping. Not a good scenario. Oh well, what's sleep anyway? Not important I guess.<br /><br />I actually am going to go watch Dumbo with Samuel right now, he's never seen it and seeing that we are going to be up for a while, I thought it would be nice! So I'll blog more tomorrow!Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5041316207273984004.post-37611362605650448892009-07-12T22:55:00.000-07:002009-07-12T23:07:32.670-07:00My Weekend....Eating wise, I did not so great this weekend. I think a free day is out of the question for me until I get a better grip on this eating thing. It kinda sent me into a spiral out of control mode. It's ok, tomorrow is a new day.<br /><br />Something is bothering me tonight and maybe I shouldn't be blogging while I'm still angry, but whatever. You girls (I think all girls read this?) are cool for me to let loose a bit. So tonight I picked out a STUPID STUPID movie to watch. I won't even name it because I don't want to endorse it whatsoever. But basically it is the typical male objectifying woman blah blah blah and then at the end, he turns into this "good guy" and gets the girl. Whatever. This is what makes me upset. I see that my eating has a lot to do with movies like that also. It is a CONSTANT reminder when you watch these movies with "a perfect girl" there. Your typical runs 3 miles every morning at 5am, beautiful hair, beautiful teeth, beautiful everything. Translated- NOT REALISTIC. Then you have all of these guys who in the movie are OPENLY objectifying these kinds of girls. I feel very insecure when it comes to movies like this for 2 reasons. 1. I feel like I WISH I could look like these girls ( a little highschool no?) and 2. They always look so happy. Now I know I am supposed to tell myself "this is a movie, this is Hollywood" but for some reason, my brain doesn't go there. This all probably does not make sense because I don't want to let out too much but basically, I feel, 2 things again. Why on EARTH are guys OK with being portrayed like this? and also how on earth are guys supposed to stay pure and on the straight an narrow and happy with their wives if these kinds of things are always being flashed all over TV & Movies? I mean in this movie, now this may give it away, this guy actually made fun of a lady who had just had a baby. I'm not going to lie, I did laugh at the line. He made a reference to her weight (not funny) but the lady turned around and said "Excuse me I just had a baby"(not funny yet) And then the guy said "Well the baby must have been delicious because it looks like you swallowed it" Did laugh a little bit because of the way it was said. Anyway, my point is, Even though it is supposed to be funny, it kind of reinforces in my mind the idea that after you have a baby that is it. You are no longer attractive, you never will be, you are now "a mom". Well, I'd just like to say right now that I AM NOT buying into that, yes I am a "Mom" and it is the greatest job anyone can have. And I will not raise my boys to EVER act like that. And if I ever have daughters, I will teach them to respect themselves and not objectify themselves like these stupid girls on TV! Ahhh..I am so angry right now..and tired..it is 2:00am and I am still up. Why. My baby is sleeping.<br /><br />On a happier note, my baby boy giggled for the first time today. That just makes everything all better. I am going to go spend time with the Lord right now until I fall asleep. I think we need some one on one time.. So till tomorrow, my rant is over...Danihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17517212155669127645noreply@blogger.com2