My sister would prefer if I didn't put pictures on my blog, but I will email them to Susie, so if you don't get them, you can email me to see some! My email is Kalani22185@aol.com. K? Sounds good! Also pray for the little princess. She has to wear braces on her legs because her hips supposedly didn't form correctly, so she has to wear them for 3-5 months and she can't wear pants. So thank God that she is born in the spring! Let's pray for the 3 months! Even less. She is so beautiful! I'll send pictures today!

I am an aunt of a BEAUTIFUL baby girl!! Last night, my sister around midnight lost her plug. She then was having contractions between 2-3 minutes apart (right away, that's fast right?) It was funny because I usually keep my phone close because I know she's close to her due date. but last night I just happened to not have it. So she walked into my apartment (safe right, I didn't lock to door) at 3am and told me that she was in labor!! YAY!! So we ran to the hospital and within 45 minutes she dialated from 1-3 cm. The baby unfortunately was still feet first, so she did have a c-section and my BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL niece was born at 5:40AM. Her name is Jael Rose and she weighed 6 lb 12 oz and was born exactly 1 week before her due date :-) Pictures to follow soon!!! Literally, you have never seen a cuter baby. She has the roundest little face and dark straight hair. She has a little temper already (gee, wonder where she got that from :-) Love you Dawn!!) we all went to see her and she put her little lip out and cried. She was comfy and didn't want to come out! How dare we :-) Anyway, I'm so excited!!! I'll put pictures up later today

Hey all!

Just wanted to ask for prayer for my sister. She went to the doctor (she is 9 months pregnant) and as it turns out (no pun intended) my first little niece is breech..well not really breech, her butt is where her head is supposed to be. So as it turns out my sisters doctors are less than thrilled about this and scheduled her for a c-section on Monday the 31st, my sister however does not want the c-section and also turned down getting the baby flipped. She would like to have this baby naturally. She is going on Friday to the doctor and if the baby is turned, she can cancel the c-section, but if not the c is going on as planned. Also, on Monday they will check right before she has the c section and if the baby is flipped, Dawn will be able to go home until she comes out by herself. So just pray that either way, Dawn and her husband Dave will have a peace about it. And, I will admit very selfishly that i hope she is turned because I will be allowed in the room when Dawn has the baby but won't be allowed if she has the c-section :-( So pray pray pray! I'll keep you all updated. It is the first time I am going to be an aunt!!! yay!!!!

I just got a response from my friend Rachel to my first blog and she made a good point. One thing I think I expected was in a way for my friend's mom to "snap out of it". No a snap out of it like get over it, but I guess to not remember his life only in saddness, but remember his life for all the good that was accomplished. Sometimes I guess people do their loved ones that they have lost a disservice. I don't at all want to sound mean or judgmental, but I think what I mean is honor his life in all the positive ways, although this never takes away the pain, honor his life and what his wishes would have been, for you to never forget, but to not be paralyzed in grief. I'm not sure I'm getting across what I mean, but all I know is I cannot expect a mother to ever forget the pain or the loss of a child. There is such an unimaginable bond between mother and child no matter what the age is. With Samuel he is part of my soul in a way.. he is so part of me. I would do ANYTHING for him. You hear every mother say that but it is so true. You just feel like, if you could take a beating just to take any pain away from your child you would. It's so powerful to be a mother and such a privelege. I often think of the story of the mother in the Bible who had her son and he was almost cut in half by the king because another woman was saying he was hers. I can understand that mother. She would rather have given him up than seen him killed. It's so powerful. That is the only way I can put it. Just powerful and special. That is where I cannot imagine that bond being broken. The feeling of such incredible loss seems too big to imagine. But that is where God comes in. I know that he is bigger than all things that go on in our lives. He has been so faithful to Susie and Matt. That is the only way I can fathom how anyone can go through this and come out the other side. God is awesome... So thank you Rachel for that insight. Oh ya and by the way on a much lighter note, we're going to Bermuda on a cruise for 7 nights, 8 days...

Hey Everyone. I don't know about you guys but I am totally inspired by Susie. I was thinking about something the other day. When my friend died, his mother was absolutely falling apart. She made no sense, had to be on medication from day 1. I saw her the other day and she still seems like she cannot function almost 6 years later. I cannot imagine and do not want to imagine what it feels like to lose a child, but judging from what I am reading about Susie, she has such a hope through all of this. Such support, and even though I'm sure it hurts beyond imagination inside, she still has a hope. My friend's mom is in extreme pain I'm sure, but even from the beginning, she knew he was in heaven, and she knew that he had saved 6 people's lives with his organs, but still had no hope. It was quite sad. I know I cannot pass judgment at all, but I do see such a difference between the two situations. I remember going and visiting her a few weeks after my friend died and I left totally depressed and in tears. When I read Susie's blog, I feel such peace (still tears, but good ones!). God is the difference. I am definitely still praying for the Sams family because I know that it is much harder now. During this time.

On a much more not important note. I am trying to get in shape for a cruise that Josh and me are taking in April. I am wondering if I am going to go a day without being in pain. I went to a personal training session and it was 1/2 hour. So I was thinking really, how much of a workout can I get..OH MY GOODNESS. Everything hurts. Everything. I cannot sit, stand, lay down, nothing. I have to do that workout 3 times a week and include at least 35 minutes of cardio everyday. Ya right. I will say I will give it a shot, but no promises. Anyway, my big boy wants me to get up. I will write later!

P.S. Get on Susie's blog mnssams.blogspot.com and watch the video of Joshua- So precious!

Joshua Matthew Sams has passed away or as his mommy put it has been promoted to heaven. How powerful. I was thinking about this after I found out he passed, and my first initial thought was how does anyone deal with the loss of their child without dying themselves? And then I thought again about what Susie posted. He was promoted to heaven. This is of course a sad thing for us, but what an amazing thing for Joshua. He was promoted! He was so perfect down here on earth and is now even more perfect up in heaven. I was truly blessed by Joshua's life. It re ignited my faith in miracles and it re ignited my faith in God really. Faith that no matter what the situation is, God will walk you through it and give you the grace. So God, I pray for that continued grace on the broken hearts in the Sams family, Grace Grace! Thank you for Joshua's life. Thank you for his testimony, may we never forget your power throughout this situation. Amen. I love you Susie & Matt. Thank you for the inspiration of your son...

Everybody pray for Joshua, Matt, Susie, and Oceana-

God I pray you would give Susie and Matt the strength to walk through this, and I pray for Oceana that you would have her come to an understanding of heaven through this- Thank you God for all the time you gave to the Sams family with Joshua and that even now he is continuing to fight! Thank you for his spirit. Give Susie and Matt wisdom and comfort...Amen....

That would be an agreement Susie. haha!!

So I have had some thoughts lately that I would love to leave on this blessed blog. Lately, God has been really dealing with me in a lot of areas. I won't go too much into specifics because I am still dealing, but I really believe God is calling me to a new level. When I got pregnant, everything kinda went into a whirl wind- pregnant, wedding, marriage, husband, baby, apartments, bills....AHHHH! Everything happened so fast that I found myself really questioning and almost getting so caught up that I was ignoring God in a way. Although I have had some serious encounters with God during this whole time, I saw myself falling into some pretty bad habits. So today I went to a friends daughter's 1st birthday party. There was A LOT of drinking going on, a lot of young people talking about the latest club they went to and just a real heaviness going on. I saw that I used to feel like I could be comfortable in that environment then all the sudden I wasn't at all. I saw that I am called to something a lot different. It was a real eye opener for me. it made me sad to see so many lost people and they are all looking for something (and for the most part, almost everybody at the party was raised in a Christian home or were "Christians") and they were looking in all the wrong areas. I still am seeing someone very close to me still struggle with those things. Looking to the past and thinking that those were the good times when really those were the times that they were furthest away from God. I caught myself during a few stressful moments thinking that to myself. I would think "God I would do anything to go back to my teenage years and enjoy myself more if I knew that this is what life would be like". It was such a wrong attitude. I used to think that the most when I was 7 months pregnant. I remember the exact month because there was a "complication" in my pregnancy and here I was, on partial bed rest while all my friends were at college talking about their latest crush. There I was sitting, huge pregnant and thinking "Did I pay the rent on time? What am I going to make for dinner? Can I really get up and go to the bathroom?". I felt robbed. But now that I think back. Robbed from what? I enjoyed Elim. I believe my stay there was exactly what I needed to prepare me for this stage in my life. I believe I took Elim for granted and I have been able to lately look back on my notes from class and just praise God because it is what I needed to hear at that very moment!
God is doing a work in me. He is changing me and I really truly believe I am growing into a woman right now. I am finally seeing what life is really all about. Changing diapers, watching my son do new things, watching my husband graduate! What kind of life is it to be partying and drinking? It's a whole lot of emptiness. I am a blessed woman. Please continue to keep me in your prayers. God is showing me how to really trust him and it doesn't always feel so nice :-) Love you all!

Can anyone please explain to me how you can clean a house to the point where it is spotless and the very next day it looks like a tornado passed through? How... I don't understand... Some input please...

This is Samuel's Halloween costume-so cute!
Me and my sisters at Dawn's baby shower :-)Samuel & his friend Patrick

Samuel today sitting on top of his sit and spin!Mommy mushie time :-)