What is it with mother's guilt? Gosh, I feel like I am constantly feeling guilty about something with Samuel. I'm not playing with him enough, is this move going to ruin his little life? Is he going to miss my family so much that he is sad? Is the new baby going to make him feel not so good? Especially without my family? Why is he not eating a lot? I don't take him out to the library enough. I'm not teaching him enough, he's not potty trained enough. Gosh. What is this? I feel like I sometimes have a hard time enjoying him just because I feel so guilty. I end up going over to him and smushing him and kissing him over and over again and he just gets annoyed. Haha. Well, today I am taking him to Chuck E Chesse. I am taking a break from packing and just spending most of today with him. He likes to try and "help" with the packing...Not so helpful. He just likes the sound of tape and he thinks the whole reason for the boxes are for him to play. Duh. Anyway, so there it is. I feel guilty. AHH.
Oh where do I start?
Mom guilt sucks. It sucks bad. Because even if you know you're being irrational, you still feel it. But let me assure you of some things.
If you get excited about this baby coming, and about Samuel being a big brother, and how he's gonna get to "help Mommy" and love on the baby and give it kisses and etc etc etc - it will be fun. Oceana thought Joshua was the KOOLEST thing ever! She just wanted to kiss his face all day! Even if he gets resentful of the baby for a few days/weeks - it's not going to ruin him. If anything it is going to teach him that the world doesn't revolve around him. Think about your siblings - you love them to pieces. And sure there were days that you wanted to plot their deaths, but you'd do anything for them wouldn't you?
You're moving. Of course you don't have all the time in the world to stop and work in toilet training and discipline and education and play. You're moving! It's okay! And he's not going to remember being slightly ignored for a month when he was barely 3. Believe me!
This move is not going to ruin his life. You're actually worried about yourself. You're going to miss your family. You remember what it's like to be away from your family. But it's different this time, you're moving as a family. You'll have each other - that won't change. You can relax! Oceana asks every once in a while about going back to "our house" (not so much any more, for the first 6 months after we moved) because she thought we were visiting. But for the most part she doesn't really notice. Buy a video camera for your computer and chat with Gramma on Skype. It's free, so he can "call" her whenever he wants!
Have fun at Chuck E Cheese sweetie, and take some time to relax yourself. Love you heaps!