So, here it is. I went to the doctor today, and had my final sonogram to check on my fluid levels and wouldn't you know, they have dropped again. Then to top all of that off, the baby is measuring at 8lb 4oz RIGHT NOW. AHH! I am praying to God that they are wrong and the baby isn't that big. However, because of the size and because of the fluid levels, the doctor Strongly suggests that I stick to the induction date for safety reasons. So, after some prayer, I have decided to listen to the doctor. They had me sign a form that there is a possibility that they might have to dislocate the shoulder if it gets stuck. I'm sure that will NOT happen, but they still had me sign.

Now the story behind the struggle of decided to cancel my induction originally. When I first was told that I had the option to cancel the induction, I originally thought YA OK I'm going to do that, what am I nuts? NO WAY am I canceling the date. I got home, talked to my mom and sister and then God got my attention for a bit. I started really asking myself why I wanted to cancel the date and why I wanted to keep it. I realized that something God has been speaking to me about for the past few weeks is how I jump the gun a lot of times on things and I tend not to complete what I start. Some examples of what I mean is college, giving birth to Samuel, continuing school..etc. I was always disappointed in myself for not finishing that last year of Elim. I couldn't because I was pregnant, but I was always hard on myself for it. Then when it came to having Samuel, I practically threatened the doctor to take the baby, and sure enough, I had him a week earlier. And lastly, I have been putting off going back to college because I believe that maybe I am not smart enough to do it again, and also I'm afraid I won't finish then be mad at myself. So I really cried out to God (literally) and asked him to please give me peace and that I was going to lay this induction at the alter even though I wanted it, I wanted more to make the right decision. I didn't want to rush this baby if he/she wasn't ready to come.

When I went to the doctor today, initially after the sonogram I felt confused on what to do, but then when I got to the office with the doctor, I felt a total peace. I feel like it was a test from God for me to not be selfish and think of what is best for my baby rather than what is best for me. I feel released and at peace about this induction. As it turns out, the induction will be good for the baby. So I am excited. A week from tomorrow, I will be holding my new son or daughter. Life doesn't get much sweeter than this :-)