Last night I was driving around getting some last minute things done for my grandma's funeral. I was pretty much running around like a zombie. The past few days have felt debilitating. I have literally been walking around in circles! Anyway, I was driving by myself to go pick up some poster board and on this Christian radio station, It is well with my soul came on. I remember thinking that song was more for when young people die. Weird I guess. The reason why the author of that song wrote it is because his wife and child died and he was distraught and wrote this song. When I heard it, I feel like everything cleared up. It gave me a real peace knowing that everything is going to be OK and it is well with my soul. I am going to keep telling myself that because many times this week I've found myself so angry that this had to happen at all. She had so many years left in her and to have her die the way she did just doesn't seem fair. I always prayed that she would die in her sleep gracefully, not in this painful way in a hospital. Then I began to think, would it really have been better to get a phone call saying she was gone without ANY warning? Even though we only had 2 weeks to get used to the idea, I was so happy to be able to spend time with her. I went to her house with all of my cousins, then I was able to spend the night at her house, and then spend the day at the hospital the day before she died. Those times will be precious to me.

One of the last things she said to me was that she was proud of me and that she loved me. These were words I heard often from my grandma and I will cherish them forever.