So this week of implementing the new changes with Samuel has gone amazing! He absolutely loves all of the Christian videos--specifically Veggie Tales (will I regret this?). I'm seeing a change even in his personality. It's not like he was ever mean or anything like that. He has always been across the board a sweet and happy kid. But I just see more of a lightness I guess! I have to say, when God gave him those dimples, he was definitely thinking of me :-) They melt my heart away!
Now as far as Zachary. Well, he is also adorable and melts my heart, but, he threw a tantrum for the first time. I mean looked at me, lost his mind in anger, went on his stomach and kicked and cried..Um.... 9 months? Samuel NEVER threw tantrums. I can only remember 1 time when he did and I just walked over him and ignored it. But he was almost 2 when that happened! What do I do about a 9 month old tantrum? Well, quite honestly I laughed..I thought it was hilarious.
And now a funny Samuel story! He was at school on Thursday and when I went to pick him up his teacher was waiting for me **never a good feeling**. She said Samuel had gotten in trouble because while they were outside, she told him not to play in mud and he went ahead and did it anyway and ruined his shoes. So she said she punished him by not letting him be outside anymore and took his shoes off and told him basically that his punishment was to be inside. So when I put him in the car, I asked him "Samuel, did you not listen to Miss Shannon?" "No momma..I was naughty".. "Samuel, it is important that you listen to your teacher. She is the authority when you are here and it hurts the heart of God when you don't listen and it makes God so happy when you do! You need to say sorry to Miss Shannon and never disobey her again. Do you understand?" "yes momma, I sowwy." OK...So then I started talking to him about the rest of his day and did he have fun and what did he have for snack... And, like every day he comes home from school I say, "Samuel, what was your favorite part of your day?" In all seriousness..... With those big eyes...he says..."The mud.". !!! Oh Lord...And there that goes..Started dying laughing..Oh well...Gotta laugh some times!
As far as my weight and this battle with it. I've been exercising every day faithfully for going on my 3rd week. I have not lost A POUND. I have eaten for the most part good, but I think I need to refine it a little more and maybe cut some foods out. I am finding that I have a hard time eating fruit in the winter, so I started making fruit smoothies again. So delish! Just put some strawberries, bananas, blueberries, and some yogurt and ice in the blender and it tastes yummy! I went to a women's Bible Study and it was all about the thoughts we have towards ourselves and how we need to see ourselves more positively, so I'm just going to enjoy my life right now, no matter what, and pray for help in this frustrating area of my life!! Hope everyone's week is good!
Who would have ever thought that parenting would be so hard? Just yesterday I was realizing what a HUGE responsibility it was to raise children. You would think this would have hit me, I don't know, 4 years ago. I guess it is fair to say that it has hit me at various points.
So, what brought me to this realization? Well, my darling 4 year old Samuel was in another room when I went to go and check on him and made a VERY VERY fresh remark to the effect of "Mommy get out of here and don't come back until I call you" I had to clean out my ears to make sure I heard him correctly. Did my 4 year old seriously just be that fresh and disrespectful to me? In that 3 seconds before I acted on this remark said to me, these are the feelings I had. Fear rushing through my veins, felt slightly lightheaded as in " OH MY GOSH....Attitude? Wait..NOT YET!", How should I deal with this? OK.. BREATHE DANIELLE. So, when I finally came to, I dealt with it right away and he was less than pleased with his punishment, but I suddenly thought Oh my gosh! Have I been neglecting him in some way that he would come out and be fresh? Is it school? Are Josh and I too sarcastic with each other in front of him (probably)? AHHHH...
This little comment that he made to me really made me think. What am I exposing him to as a kid? Now I can see how that can sound bad. It is not like I'm putting R movies on in front of him, nothing like that. But for all of you moms who have kids around Samuel's age, I'm sure you can relate. You kind of watch whatever you watch or say things or have phone conversations thinking that they really can't understand you. Then when they come out with certain things you begin to realize. It is really time to be careful!
Being confused and upset about another few things that happened that night, I called my mom. I told her basically that I was considering sending my kids back to the baby factory because this was all too scary. Through my conversation I realized things needed to change around here. I realized that I was not incorporating God into our daily lives like I should be. These past 4 years of mommyhood I feel have been all about surviving and growing up myself! I have so much invested in my life thanks to my parents that I guess I didn't realize how important it was that they did that for me! So I got inspired! Little things are goign to change. I'm embarassed to admit, but occasionally I do let Samuel watch Spongebob - which I don't like. I'm going to start balancing out the TV he watches and switch some of it up with Christian DVD's. Also, I realized his love for music! So thanks to Aunt Dawnie, Samuel now has a CD of Christian songs that I have been playing and he LOVES it!! I know it seems small and maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but I guess I just had an AHA moment! I needed to start really getting my walk with God in order so that I can set an example for my son and to stop just surviving motherhood and start enjoying every second including the hard ones!
So here's to new perspectives and interesting 4 year olds!
Every since I joined Facebook I have sadly neglected this blog :-( Really need to try to update more often!
Lets see, what is new...I don't even know what I posted about last! Well Samuel is good. Loving school still. I'm getting into a stage with him that I'll have to blog about at another time, but it's scary. I'm hitting that point as a mom where I'm thinking "Oh my Gosh did I really do this? I'm in trouble!"
Zachary is, well, adorable! He's got a lot of personality and is very curious. And I cannot believe he is almost 9 months! Where has time gone!
Josh is doing OK..going through some difficult times, but he'll survive!
Me, I"M A WRECK! Seriously people. A wreck. I am currently so sleep deprived the smallest problem seems like a massive mountain! I mean I cried over not having an extra can of sauce the other day. Really hitting a low! It is so hard to live here in PA without family! There are some other things going on that I don't really care to go into detail about, but if any of you think of me throughout the day, just throw up a prayer for grace! The weight thing is..well constantly on the mind, always on the back burner. We just joined the YMCA which ahs been really nice! I just completed my first full week of exercising! Ahh feels so nice!
Does anyone else hate winter? I feel so blue during the winter! The other day it briefly got warm and I went outside for a run and actually felt like everything was going to be OK. I was happy! I'm amazed at how many times God needs to remind me to fall back on him! When do we ever learn?
Anyway, I hear my baby crying, so I must go, but hopefully, I will be keeping up.. (where have I heard that before?)
