Ok. So I'm hitting a phase that is totally scary with Samuel. I know the right answer, don't be afraid , just pray..I know I know.. But Samuel is now in this phase where he is around other kids and is picking up QUITE the little attitude. Just as an example. The other day, Samuel was outside with two of the neighborhood friends (not crazy about them), and Josh told Samuel to come over to him and what was Samuel's response? "Daddy, be quiet". WHOA.. BACK THAT TRAIN UP. I happened to walk right into the backyard as Samuel said it and I nearly flipped out of my skin. My response as Josh sat there staring in SHOCK that Samuel just said that? "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO YOUR DADDY LIKE THAT. GET IN THE HOUSE NOW." HAHA... Josh stood there motionless for a good few seconds. And the funny part? Samuel right after he said it looked like he had seen a ghost. He knew right away that was the wrong move. Well, after taking care of the problem and having him apologize to daddy and not being allowed outside anymore, Josh and I sat down in a near panic mode. Um. How do we deal with this? Do we let him play with these kids? Is he too much of a follower? AHH AHH?

I do realize that it is with the same kid he plays with that he gets mean. So I guess the logical solution is to not let him play with this kid. Which we are doing. But then we started to feel bad becasue we are friendly with the parents and they are the nicest people ever. Then came up the discussion. Are we willing to possibly offend those parents in order to stop our kid from hanging out with their kid? Or, do we continue to instill in Samuel that being mean is not nice, no matter what anyone else is doing, you be kind? Not quite sure yet. But I did find it funny when Josh sat down and said "Danielle we need to pray. Like now." The panic in his voice made me laugh. Then it dawned on me...If we are panicing over Samuel saying to someone "I don't like you", then what are the teenage years going to be like? Oh goodness. We can't turn around now right? Too late. We are parents. Ah.

Out of these silly experiences, I am learning that I really do need to 100% lean on God regarding my kids. I'm starting to read Raising Boys by James Dobson. So far it is really good. Any other suggestions out there?

Gosh. It has been a while since I've blogged! Craziness. SO MUCH has gone on.

It's been a crazy few months. This year has not be what I expected. Full of enormous, larger than me trials, loss, and genuine confusion! But with that have come some amazing revelations. Mostly I want to blog about what happened this past week at Jessie's brothers funeral.

Ever since January it has been one hardship after another. I have literally felt like I was drowning in anxiety, big decisions to be made, the loss of my grandma which is still proving to be difficult, and every day craziness. The night before I left for David's funeral a few things had occurred that made me really feel like giving up. When I made it to David's funeral to my surprise came the biggest boost of peace I have gotten in a long while. If any of you did not watch the funeral service online should watch it. You can see it at res-life-fellowship.com Look under sermons and look at I believe 6/25. If you don't want to hear the whole thing, listen to the song Jess sang and the word she spoke. One of the things she said that impacted me the most was when she was talkign about when David's best friend passed away and he spent the whole year in his room digging into God to make sense of it all. When she said that I started to sob. Then she really got me when she said that the day after David died, she started really questioning God and walked away for that day. She said that walking away from God that one day was almost worse than losing her brother. When she said that the tears could not be stopped at all. My eyes had been opened. I realized. I have been walking away from God for these past few months. The trials have seemed so much bigger than me that I just neglected my relationship with my daddy God. My unhapiness was largly due to the fact that I was not in relationship with my comforter, my healer, my protector, the lover of my soul, the one who loved me whether I followed Him or not. Wow. And as far as hearing David dig in deep to God during that great time of loss, I realized I had done anything but that. I had let depression creep in and such intense sadness it was deblitating. I have walked around in zombie mode for months.

WELL NO MORE! I am determined to overcome this feeling! I am determined to dig in deep to my daddy God. While it is OK that I grieve, and it is OK that I feel sadness about certain circumstances in my life, I am choosing NOT to live in that grief and sadness. I will overcome. I will dig deep, and I will seek my healer, my protector, the lover of my soul, my comforter. I will succeed and as my sister put it to me this morning "LIVE VICTORIOUSLY!" So stay tuned....